How to Get Kicked Out of Wal-Mart Forever
We hope you enjoyed our ways #1-25 to get yourself kicked out of Wal-Mart so much that you just can’t wait to ready ways #26-50!
Once again, we strongly advise you to NEVER actually do any of these things, as you will get in trouble ranging from just getting tossed out, to maybe getting arrested and charged with vandalism, shoplifting or worse!! DO NOT EVER do anything on this list!
Ok now that we have that straight, on with the list?
26. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it
27. Open up random packages in the toy aisle then walk off. If an employee asks what you’re doing, just say “I changed my mind.”
28. Run all over the store in just a bathing suit whilel singing "Surfin USA" by the Beach Boys
29. Say things like, “Would you be as kind so to direct me to your Twinkies?”
30. If an employee comes within 30 ft scream “GET AWAY FROM ME!!!” Then run out of the store screaming
31. Walk up to an employee and ask questions like how come this store is called wal mart? Or why is your hair so weird? Why do you people wear name tags can’t you all remember your own names?
32. Test the fishing rods and see what you can “catch” from the other aisles
33. Glare menacingly at anyone who comes within 40 ft of you. Then hiss like a snake and act like you’re going to bite them.34. Toss a realistic toy spider in some old ladies face and watch her go nuts
35. Squeeze their legs and either sing, “I like to move it, move it! Or say “You got chicken legs!”
36. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from “Mission: Impossible.”
37. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room
38. Bring your pet pit-bull into Wal-mart. Act casual. If someone is brave enough to walk up to you and tell you to get out, simply reply “He’s going to help me pick out his favorite dog food”
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39. TP as much of the store as possible
40. Whenever you hear a voice saying, clean up etc fall to the ground sobbing screaming the voices!! Then get back up & act normal
41. Dress up in a trench coat & wear sunglasses. Walk up to someone browsing and say “The rooster is in the nest” Wait for a reply. After they finish talking, hand them a cap gun and whisper "use this wisely.”
42. Go to the music aisle and start singing horrible karaoke
43. Walk along look at someone giggle at them & say to no one… I know I know… hehehe keep doing it until they give you a weird look & walk off
44. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day
45. In the sporting goods dept. find a tent that is setup and go inside. Tell others that they may join you if they bring marshmallows
46. Start broadcasting commercials for K-Mart on the store intercom system
47. Go up to the bagel section with cream cheese all over your face. Now begin chanting “We love bagels! We love bagels!”
48. Get on the intercom system and announce a huge sale on all items in electronics & the first ten shoppers get their purchase for free… & see what happens
49. Randomly start putting different size undergarments in people’s carts
50. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners
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